Becoming a mother is the biggest, most important, most amazing and frightening thing that has ever happened to me. Being pregnant, going through labour, breast-feeding, sleep deprivation, adjusting, trying to stay present in the chaos of my mind was challenging, and that's only a smidgent of it. This amazing transition is the most powerful yet and comes with it, the total surrender of all my previous beliefs, thoughts and ways and of course 'my-self'.
"I'm going to do this when Solstice is born....oh, I won't be doing that...noooooo, we can't be like that....we will do it like this, this and this"!! Ha! You think? And so, the magic begins. Let go...let go of all of it and take it all moment by moment was what my little Solstice told me when he was just 3 days old. When I changed his nappy and his wee missed my mouth by a nanometer, I laughed and knew this little being was even more amazing than I could have ever imagined.
The beliefs that had shaped my being, kept me safe and helped me to fit we now being hurled into the air at a terrifying speed and all I had to do was accept. To accept, we have to come from a place of love and great trust.
And how could one not trust in this? In this blessing? Yes, many have and will continue to walk this road but yet there still hangs a veil of mystery! And to appreciate this we have to be aware and present and we have to trust in the great that brought this blessing.
I go in and look from my inner eye. When there are moments when I truly don't know...I stop, breathe, connect, go in, and remember that I cannot control any situation and the more I try to, the harder it will become. I return to my root, my core and feel love surrounding me, filling my being and when I know that love permeates every part of me...I let go! I just un-clinch my fists and see it all leaving. I trust in the way. The way that goes with the flow. For that flow is the way. And the way is a beautiful veil of mystery.
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